This months “Blog” is a list. Random thoughts/things during the month.
PLEASE NOTE: the choice to be vulnerable here.. with some of the lines below.. is not for you to provide "pity" or "concern" honestly..truthfully.. just TRUST me here.
I choose to write, because I don’t always express things on a certain level to anyone. I don’t always know how to communicate what’s going on in my mind. I do know that I don’t bottle any of it up, because I choose to write it down. That is what works for me.
The understanding of the misunderstandings within my own mind.
Always learning how to show up for myself everyday.. no matter how hard it may be or how good it is in each moment.
With continued growth & change comes new challenges.. mindsets.. perspectives.
I cherish each and every one of these moments.
Love Your Journey.
New Years Eve.. the flu.. just me and the dogs
A lot can change in a year.
I didn’t spend enough time in the office.
GROWTH.
Actions ONLY.
Do they respect you.. or do they just want something from you?
Do they actually value you?
Do I provide value in your life or take away?
.. then its like wait.. Do I actually Provide value.. or is it one of those things “tell her anything moments”
You provide value but you also take value.
One day, one moment at a time.
Stop giving more than you should.
Avoidance.
Isolation.
hot and cold.
QUALITY >>> QUANTITY
You are not for everyone.
Not entertaining things just to entertain.
Vulnerability.
The power of that kiss.
Take a rest.
You don't have to earn it
Genuine Love. It is unmeasurable
New York.
Canada.
Day ones & New friends.
The power of the lyrics in a song..
The power of the music in a song..
What flows in.. what flows out.
Road trips that start in the middle of the night.
Singing and dance parties in the car at 3am
ENERGY SPEAKS VOLUMES
Tired of being a giver.. or just tired of showing up for others..
Mentally exhausted.
Silence the insecurities? why are they resurfacing?
Who’s body is this.. What am I looking at?
As I look in the mirror.. naked picking myself apart in my mind.. THIS IS MY BODY; It is strong, It is beautiful. I VALUE IT, I APPRECIATE IT. Kind words only.
You do not lack.
Anxiety..
Intuition.
Confidence.
Composure.
Not Running. Grounded.
NOW WILL YOU STOP RUNNING AWAY.
Silent.
I am here for you.
To just listen. To just be present.
Birthdays are cool...its just some moments the memories make it hard.. I am reminded how you aren’t physically here. I will live this life to the absolute fullest for both of us each and every day. You are here with me always.
Lowkey birthdays always.
Quilting.. I put that needle right through my thumb. WHOOPS.
Alone time vs time with others.
I am not afraid of death.
LEARNING.
Who protects you?
Blessings.
Grateful.
Emotional moments..
Travel.
You are the only one who can make the changes.
Have you ever experienced loss?
How do you react when you fail? Whats your next move/action?
Growth or dwelling?
How do you react when you are successful?
How many moments do you celebrate alone?
How many moments do you fail alone?
I am grateful to know you/have had the pleasure of having you in any part of my journey.
Hugs goodbye.
Your choices.
Your priorities.
These are my boundaries.. wait where are my boundaries?
Would you come with me if I asked you to?
Would you pick up if I called?
AM I RAMBLING AGAIN
Can you tell when I am “off/not myself”?
When no one notices the differences.. maybe I wasn’t alright in that moment.. if I take the time to ask you if you want to go somewhere with me.. that is an everyday small thing that I would have no problem doing alone. Maybe I just was looking for someone to spend some quality time with me.
Do you check on you?
Heavy on Do Not Disturb consistently for a year now.
Your smile. It’s all I see.
Appreciation
Recognizing who shows up.
Recognizing who calls/messages.
Postcards.. I think I am going to start sending one every time I go somewhere new.
Hand written letters.. notes..
Do people write love letters anymore?
“I thought of you..”
Could you express your feelings if asked?
What happens within your mind and body when it comes time to communicate?
Comfort zones..
When you look at me..
Access to me is limited.
Is it because I was feeling invaluable..
Stop inviting emotionally unavailable individuals in.
Deep conversations..
TRUTHS.
Pure honesty .. no holding back
BE DIRECT.
Learning to Trust.
Working out with other individuals for once.
Random conversations with strangers that are impactful.
Everything happens for a reason.
I believe in you. No matter what.
My support for you has to be from a distance.
I disrespect myself every time I allow that bullshit.
REMEMBER You are the only you.
YOU are irreplaceable.
Do you even know what you bring to each day by simply existing in mine?
Kindness. it is not a weakness.
I choose to let you believe I do not "know".. but I always know.
Intelligence.
Not over extending myself.
I value you.
I value me.
You feel like home.
I am my home.
You are my safe space.
I am my safe space.
Its always something about “features” or “I would do this to you” or “send me a pic” blah blah blah.. Why can’t it ever be.. When I am with you I feel like I can accomplish anything. Your support on the hard days is just as valuable to me as your support on the good days. It’s always going to be you for me. Thank you for being you.
In this moment right now.. tell me something real.