I like the idea of Posting mini “in-between” blogs. A place where I can write quick little updates. Or a place where I can post journals I have written over the last few weeks.
This blog I guess is a little insider view of moments that would test me mentally this last week.
Would I be able to keep a “positive vibe?”
Moments where chaos would come in and stay for a little while.
Those moments when my faith was being tested.
Moments I sat in my car and would take a few deep breaths while holding onto the steering wheel.
While I still do like to keep a lot private, I have carefully selected a few moments to share:
A few consecutive nights of no sleep, for either Gus or I. A few days and nights of Gus having an upset stomach. These are some of those unknown moments that I can’t get on board with. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him or why he wasn’t feeling well. I was going around everything, what he ate, what he drank, where we went, what was he exposed to.. etc etc. The only thing I knew to try and do was to start a bland diet and try to decrease the gnarly bowel movements. He had an accident where he threw up, and he had a bathroom issue in the apartment. In our daily routine, my only focus was to monitor him the best I could. I noticed not much had changed with his LOVE to put the harness on and go go go. For the most part he is a pretty snuggly sleepy guy too. I feel like after a few days of being unwell, his fatigue only grew, but his appetite never decreased or changed. After about 48 hours of having gnarly bowl movements, he ended up having one that was a dark red color and I honestly went into a panic. I have never in the eight years I have had Gus experienced a moment like this with him before.
We are one thousand miles away from his Vet and it was 9 P.M.
I had to do a quick google search for a walk in emergency vet in my area. Luckily for us the closest one was ten minutes away. In this short car ride, I started going through all the things..I am calling this the “petrified parent moment.” I mean he is my main guy.. and I felt helpless. After an hour of checks and conversation, I was given some antibiotics for him and we were on our way home. Back to monitoring him and figuring out ways to get him to take the medicine. Forty-eight hours of the antibiotics and probiotics Gus seemed to be in much better shape (back to regular bowel movements).
Imagine the start of the week your dog was is in the “emergency room” and then four days later at the end of the week, you end up in the emergency room.
We had planned a trip to the Florida Keys about a month ago. It was a first time in the Florida keys for me, so naturally, I brought my dog with me. We both got to experience it at the same time together.
About a six/seven hour drive with Gus after the week he had was going to be risky. We ended up getting into Key West mid day on Friday, so we had some time to explore (we had time gap before we could check-in to our hotel/motel). The state park I picked for us to stop at first.. didn’t allow dogs on any of the beaches so we walked all the trails they had instead. I then had to look up a few other little trails near by. There wasn't to much close by that we could explore besides what we had already done, so our final stop was a local park I had found. I figured at least here Gus could run around,, eat a little bit of his food, and I could journal and relax. This park had a little skate park that was fenced in at it too. Right before we left the park we popped into the little skate park area. I mean no one was there, it was empty. Gus got to run around, and I practiced my basic skateboarding abilities.. cruising and turns.
Alright Fast forward to Saturday, we had planned and booked a snorkeling excursion. We were told by a handful of people that “we had picked one of the best days to go on a boat and snorkel.”
They weren’t wrong.. the water was like glass. It was smooth and it was clear.
IT WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
A three hour trip (an hour out, an hour to snorkel, and an hour back). The Snorkeling part and the beautiful boat ride was a lot of fun. We got to see the reef, an old lighthouse (not in operation), and a variety of fish.
On my swim back into the boat, my shoulder popped out of socket.. and wouldn’t go back into place. A few more strokes with my one arm I shouted to the crew member what had happened.
When I came back onto the boat my only thought was to stay as calm as possible. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get my shoulder back into place myself without it becoming a whole ordeal.
The captain of the boat sat across from me, asking me what he could do to help me. He had never had this happen before and/or had to put someone's shoulder back into place.
We were an hour boat ride away from the dock/shore, and there was 20 minutes left of the actual snorkeling part of the trip for everyone. The last thing I wanted was for the Captain to suggest to get everyone in from the water and to head back earlier.
Which he did end up offering and I politely declined.. I didn’t want something so small to interrupt anyone else’s day or experience. I mean I was in a lot of pain but I didn't see the point in rushing anyone. I tried a handful of different ways to get my shoulder back into place and nothing worked. I was in a beautiful place and it was helping me stay positive, and calm. I just kept reminding myself to keep breathing few seconds in, a few seconds out. I was definitely embarrassed, so I tried to stay right in the corner by the captain, hide a little, to stay out of the view of everyone else on the boat. After a quick ambulance ride, and an hour in the emergency room they would be able to get my shoulder back into place.. (overall my shoulder sat out of place for two hours). The whole time the only person I felt bad for was the Captain of the boat.
After all I was on a girls trip in the keys.. so after a few hours of rest, a shower, some food.. I put that arm sling on, a hoodie and some soccer shorts and took on the town with everyone else. Nothing like some Live music and dancing to take your mind off the pain.
To recap last week, Gus and I are both on the mend and doing better.
& when Gus’s issues were happening I was already working my way out of a lower vibrational mindset because of some other things that were currently "beating" my mind down. I was honestly already in a mindset where I felt like I was grasping a hold of all the positives around me, where I was continually reminding myself to believe everything was going to work out.
Now INSERT-ing what I am considering the craziest thing that I’ve ever experience recently:
The night I brought Gus to the Emergency vet clinic; I don’t know if this is considered a coincidence or a synchronicity.. or what.. but when I finally got into bed I received a late night message from an old friend.
I wouldn’t normally share something like this but it honestly couldn’t have come at a better time.
Part of her message read: “You popped into my head and I felt this really strong nudge to pray for you and just reach out to tell you that you are so loved, by God and so many people and I hope this is encouraging!”
In that moment I was confused.. but I was grateful for her message, it was so kind of her to randomly reach out like that and her message was encouraging. I mean by the end of this last week (emergency room visits, random car hiccup situations, etc etc) her message ended up still having an impact on me.
I am both Blessed and Grateful.
Continually being present in each moment (good, or bad).
Moments where words are necessary.
Moments where silence is necessary.
Trusting my intuition.
Reevaluating what I allow to take place in my life.
& Letting Go.
..love your journey..